“Cranberry Souced Mix” DJ Max Blixx and DJ Sloppy Suss

In our family, Thanksgiving is about hanging out in the kitchen getting your cook/snack on while family slowly filters into the house. Considering we have in years past had a pre meal and post meal weigh-off, we are 1/24th Native American and it’s a kosher thanksgiving, we are far from conventional when it comes to the day of the giving of the thanks.

If you’re reading this blog, you are probs going out the night before Thanksgiving or as I like to call it “El Shitshow Grandio De La Meircoles.” {I am terrible at Spanish for purely xenophobic reasons not because I didn’t pay attention in HS}.  I cranberry relish those 5 min “what are you up to these days?” conversations with friends you haven’t seen in ages. I love $3 mixed drinks. I love getting dropped off at the bar by my dad in my 20s.

This is how the night is gonna play out for you: you are gonna take too many shots, have a lot of awkward conversations and probably get thrown out for trying to smoke weed in the bathroom of the bar. Which is why when you stroll in to your parents house at 1pm on Thursday and your mom is all like “Where have you been I called you 14 times” and you’re all like “Momz I feel like Martha Francois Garbage…please lower the volume of your voice bring me some sunglasses and a MeMoSa” you’re gonna need a super sick music playlist to guide you to the promised land while that booze kicks in. Which is why DJ Max Blixx and DJ Sloppy Suss are here to save the goddamn day per the yush.

Below we’ve crafted a dirty nasty play list with sing along classics. It will help you traverse the rocky terrain of being superbly hungover while still helping out in the kitchen. Blast it at volume 11 to drown out the pestering barrage of questions concerning the previous evening’s shenanigans.

1) Leo Sayer: You Make Me Feel Like Dancing

Yeah, that’s a white male.

2) Robin S : Show Me Love

You’re warmed up. Let’s sweat out some of last night’s booze.


3) Talking Heads : Cities

Slow it down some. Class up the playlist. You’re cool uncle peeks his head into the kitchen and nods with approval, continues to read The New Yorker and drink whiskey until dinner.

4) Queen: Pressure

The first “sing along” track of the CranBerry Souce mix. If everyone isn’t belting out “why can’t we give ourselves one more chance” they should be banished from the kitchen. It’s only gonna get weirder from here.

5) Yaz : Situation

You got all karaoke on that last track. There was some eye closing. It was dramatic. Now it’s time to get those feet moving. This song was invented for white people dance moves.

6) Midnight Star: No Parking on The Dance Floor

You can stop dancing to watch this music video because it’s amazing but this would be the perfect time to whip those mashed potatoes. Don’t even think of NOT dancing though. There’s no parking on the kitchen dance floor.

7) Sheila E : Glamarous Life

Let’s pause for some liquid refreshments before starting this track. We don’t want you to get dehydrated.

8 ) Annie Lennox : Walking on Broken Glass

Someone is going to sing the chorus of this into a wooden spoon. In their head they sound like Annie Lennox even though that’s impossible. But hey, it’s thanksgiving. Let’s get fuckin loose in this bitch.

9) Toto: Africa

This is probably the riskiest song we have on our playlist. We know some people will hate it and skip it, but based on the title, that would make you a racist. Ball’s in your court. You better start getting ready to harmonize “I blessed the rains down in Africa” for the next 4:33


10) Matthew Wilder : Break My Stride

Originally we weren’t going to include this, but just look at this amazing video. Would a guy who looks like THAT with THAT voice ever be famous these days? It’s like Mork got a record deal and then wore some leather pants. And the green leotard backup dancers? Amazing. And the band has 3 guys on keyboard. Excessive? No. It’s called the 80s.

11) The Outfield: Your Love

This is the closest we’ll ever get to putting a Journey, Boston or Aha song on a playlist. It’s an obvious sing a long song but thats the point. You and your friends and family in your kitchen getting drunk singing like idiots at the top of your lungs. You realize how lucky you are? In any Asian Latin or Arab country they ban ALL American music. Music is 100% forbidden outside of the US, Sweden, Australia and Ibiza. The rest of the world is like that town in Footloose.

12) Naked Eyes: Always Something to Remind Me

British people make the best music exhibit A.

13) David Bowie: Let’s Dance

Exhibit B. If God met David Bowie he’d be like “Hey, Bowie, remember that one time when you were Ziggy Stardust.” And Bowie would be like “yea” and god would be like “that was awesome.”

14) The Clash: Train in Vain

Exhibit C. If you asked a panel of judges which was more incredible: 1) a person fighting a 1/2 tiger 1/2 shark to the death in order to save a drowning cancer patient  OR  2) A photograph of Mick Jones under the covers, alone in a bed sleeping

The photo would unanimously win.

15) We’ll close this saucy soucy mix with Anything by Prince ever recorded but for lack of space we’ll go with: Let’s Go Crazy