#Cookbookghostgate

The NY Times, for seemingly the hundreth time this year has reported on a piece of critical hard hitting news and is now being accused of not fact checking the story. (Who runs that place, Rebekah Brooks?).  If you’ve been choosing to read about wars or politics or economics, you may have missed that the NY Times accused several top celebrities, chefs and food personalities of using ghostwriters when writing cookbooks and online recipes. In fact they got several ghostwriters on record to say they do the ghostwriting. The celebrity chefs are outraged saying this is basically culinary McCarthyism by the NY Times.

And we couldn’t agree more. Between the slanted reporting on the egregious lawsuits against Batali to the juvenile coverage and outrageous claims that famed restauranteur Bobby Deniro is racist against white people, we are sick and tired of liberal news media jumping all over the greatest minds and faces in food and dragging them through the mud for no good reason.

Immediately after the accusations, the subjects in the story took to the blogosphere and twitterverse. And its been a boudin-bath. What has since unfolded over the course of several national news cycles is now being referred to as #cookbookghostgate and this. shit. be. divisive. 

So, like Woodward and Bernstein before us, we’re gonna get our expose on. And like Scully and Mulder…we know the truth is out there. And we’re going to find the truth…facts and fact checking be damned.

Whetting the appetite of our interest

We were ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED (bolded for serious emphasis) that the NY times article was inferring that Rachel Ray, Paula Deen, Martha Stewart and other food celebs do not write their own recipes. Wha….WHAA…WHATTTTT????? THEY DON’T WRITE EVERY SINGLE WORD ATTRIBUTED TO THEM? So says a group of publicity hungry liars by claiming they are ghostwriters (and therefore demonstrating they clearly don’t value their their own lives by going up against this culinary Cosa Nostra).

Upon hearing that these famous food celebs might not write every single word themselves, nervous thoughts raced through our heads:

-How do we know if it will work in under 30 minutes if Ms. Ray hasn’t graced the keyboard with her lovely perky fingers and hit upload of each and every recipe to RachelRay.com?

– How do we know if the butter ratios in Ms. Deen’s recipes are the actual proper amounts now? We can only assume that an ingredient list that contains  “6 lbs. of butter” seems correct. But we NEED to be sure that in fact Ms. Deen is writing the recipe herself while sitting at her oak dining room table on her plantation in Savannah. Anything else is just deceitful.

– How do we know if our guests will love our handmade rustic napkin holders that Martha Stewart just blogged about if in fact Martha Stewart is nowhere near a computer and is actually on a yacht in St. Tropez with P.Diddy exchanging low-security prison stories while drinking cocaine flavored Mai Tai’s?

The NY times seemed to have uncovered the filthy underbelly of food celebrity cookbook and recipe writing. But then from the gated hills of Malibu…a response.

Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Julia Turshen

In case you don’t know GP, she’s the editor in chief of poop.com (its like Groupon for really uppity white bitches who think Tory Burch is the Jesus Christ of womenswear) and most famously, a movie star who was oscar nominated for the role of Young Wendy in Hook.

So after the NYtimes writes like a billion word article about how GP didn’t write her cookbook and some lady named Julia Turshen did, Gwyn took to twitter and launched this viscious attack back at @nytimes:

Damn girl! GP be hurling twitter grenades at the liberal media!

Oh wait, actually that seemed like a pretty rational, logical and concise response with excellent grammar. (Girl can write, right?)

But the NY Times reported Julia Turshen is the ghostwriter! Now we are thoroughly confused.

So do we trust the celebrity married to a rock star that starred in our favorite movie Sliding Doors or some no name ghostwriter who may or may not even be alive considering she’s admitting she’s a ghost?<–(worst joke by far in this entire post). In the words of Detective David Mills “Who wrote the cookbook?? Who wrote the cookboooookkkk? Who actually wrote the cookbook?? You tell me. You tell. Who wrote the cookbook???”

Well, when you google Julia Turshen, her personal website is a .net. So without fact checking, emailing her or doing even a second more research, we know she’s a communist who is dating that KONY guy who masturbates on parking meters like some sort of sexual deviant version of Cool Hand Luke. There is no way someone with a .net would be enlisted by someone as .com saavy as Gweny P.

Winner: Gwyneth Paltrow

Rachel Ray vs. NY Times 

If you go to http://www.rachaelray.com/food_results.php?cID=1 there are 393 pages of Recipes. She’s also written dozens of cookbooks. She also has TV shows. And a magazine. And she makes public appearances. So, yeah, she has plenty of time to bang out a calzone recipe every 15 minutes for her website.

So do we think Rachel Ray writes all of her own recipes? Considering Rachel Ray is a cyborg that needs no sleep and runs on energy harnessed from the electro-magnetic radiation of studio lights and the glow of her ipad, we are confident the NY Times got this one wrong too.

Winner: Rachel Ray

 

It’s clear that the NYtimes should issue a full scale apology. The facts in our argument are deafening. The written word rebuttal tweets of the accused are a 21st congressional hearing in real time. “Ms. Moskin! Tear down that wall!”

 

*Max and Eli Sussman cannot be responsible for the content of this entire post. It was written by a ghostwriter.

original article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/14/dining/i-was-a-cookbook-ghostwriter.html?pagewanted=all